How I Met Roxy

Being a famous footballer and playing football means that sometimes when I go out you get lots of women all the time that like you because you’re a famous footballer.

I met Roxy like this, but she told me that she doesn’t like me because I’m a famous footballer. She says that she loves being married to a rich footballer but she hasn’t changed as a person since she was a beautician. She used to work as a beautician in a beauticians near to where I live at my house. She used to like doing people’s nails and doing waxing them in their bikinis. Now that she lives with me I don’t like her to go to work because she has to look after our two babies that I gave to her. She loves to look after our babies and likes to help the nanny when she does feeding and dressing them.

It was in a nightclub that we met and I was just there having a beer and talking about the football that we do to my team mates that I do football with. I saw this boss girl stood at the bar and she looked at me and I think she recognised me because she came up to me and said that she recognised me and that she’d seen me before and she liked it when I scored a goal and that. It was love at first sight and I told her that she was the bossest looking girl in the club and that I’d like to take her out for a drink and she said that she was already out and that I should get her a drink and she wanted a Pernod and lemonade and I got her one and she drunk it and asked us for another.

When we went out for a date I thought that I’d pick her up in my bossest car so I chose my red one(because I know that girls like red and that) because it’s like pink but not as pink as pink is. She said she liked my car and that we should go to Illusions club and we could dance and that. I’m not that good at dancing but she is and she said that she wanted to go and do a dance, so she went and did a dead, dead sexy dance for me and I stayed and looked after her drinks while she did her dead, dead sexy dance.

When I went to training the next day all the lads were ribbing me saying that she was now me bird and that. Gaffer didn’t say anything apart from run up that hill and stick that ball in the back of the net. I love putting the ball in the back of the net, so I put the ball in the back of the net.

She decided that we were going to live together the next week so she moved her bag into my flat. I used to live in a flat. I don’t know why it was called a flat because it’s up some stairs or a lift. You just got in the lift and pressed the number 5 and then it took you to my flat. The lift was broke though, because even though I lived in a flat that wasn’t number 5 I still had to press number 5 in the lift. I don’t live in a flat any more, because I live in a house. Roxy chose it. I’m not very good at that kind of thing. I just like to concentrate on me football.