Bad News

This week the England team have been boss. They beat Russians and Israeli 3-0 each, which means they are on course to qualify for Euro96 2008 in Australia and Swaziland. Gaffer Steve McLaren was under a lot of pressure to pick the right side and he got it boss on. Michael Owen managed to knock a couple of goals in the back of the net and get on the score sheet and I was made up for him. It would be nice to be picked for the side to travel to Russians in the next game and partner Michael Owen and knock a goal in, but I'm not sure my face fits in with the England gaffer. I'll just have to keep knocking them in for my club.

I've had a few days off and me and Roxy managed to spend some quality time together. Spending quality time together is quality and we went away to abroad for a few days to recharge my batteries for my I-Pod, so that I can listen to boss music in the changing room before we get changed.

When we got back from abroad, I was gutted to hear that some politicians want to ban plasma. I think it's disgusting. Plasma, for me, is possibly the best invention ever. It's better than when they invented gravity because Plasma tellies are so heavy that they stay on your living room or bedroom floor anyway, so they don't need gravity. They say that they aren't energy efficient, but that's rubbish because they all come with remote controls, so you don't have to use energy getting up to change the channels. I will refuse to watch LCD tellies if they ban Plasma because LCD isn't very good picture quality. Hopefully, I'll still be on Plasma tomorrow night on Match Of The Day when I knock a brace into the back of the net!

A Weekend Off

This weekend, there is no Premier League for me to play in. There is division 1 and division 2 to play in, but I play Premier League. The division 1 and division 2 boys don't have the quality to play Premier League, but I take my Nike cap off to them because they still love their football and get stuck in. Once, when I was a younger person than I am now, I was offered a loan deal at a division 1 or division 2 team, but I decided not to as I prefer to play Premier League. The Premier League is the bossest league in England and I didn't want to play less boss.

Because there's no Premier League it means that there's a weekend off for players who haven't been picked for England. I haven't been picked for England so I have a weekend off. I like weekend's off because it means that I don't have to do football - not even training. Some of the lads are having a golfing weekend. I'm not going because I haven't got any golf bats and Roxy says that I don't like golf. She says that it's for people who have too much time on their hands. I'll probably just stay at home and play Playstation this weekend instead. I might have to drive her to the shopping centre on Saturday so that she can get some new clothes because the new Winter collection is out now and it's important to her that she gets them early so that she can wear them before everyone else.

I hope that England can bit Israeli tomorrow because it means that they are one step closer to Europe next year. I might get picked for that next year, but if I don't then at least I can Sky+ it and watch it after Roxy's watched Hollyoaks.

A New Signing

My agent Greg is the bossest bloke I know. He's dead honest, dead genuine and dead out for me and my best interests. This week he managed to get me a lucrative sponsorship with a boss sportswear company. I'm not allowed to say which one it is yet, but I'll give you a few clues.

Firstly it's a footwear company. Secondly it's a company that makes boss football boots and thirdly I'll be wearing a pair of boss Nike boots on my feet every time I play football. Like I said before, I can't say who it is until the contract is fully signed, so I'll leave it at that for the time being.

Every time I knock one in the back of the net this company will give me some money to reward me. Greg says that these boots will make me score more goals because of the nano technology that's in them. I'm not entirely sure what type of nano technology is in them, but it's the best type of nano that you can get. I love technology because it means that some dead boss clever scientists have done some experiments in a science place and come up with something dead boss clever. My favourite type of technology is Plasma technology, because it's what my telly has in it to make everything look Plasmad.

Gaffer was pleased in training and at the match this week because he was able to make a last minute signing in the transfer window. The transfer window is closed now, but it gets open again after it's been Christmas time. He was also double pleased because we managed to win our game on Saturday. I was made up too because I managed to set up the winner. We won the game 3-0.

Our last minute signing was made right at the last minute and he's a goalkeeper. Goalkeepers are a dead hard position to fill because most of the ones that I knew at school were the fat kids with a pair of glasses. Our new signing isn't fat or a glasses wearer, so I think he's going to be a boss signing. His name is Jimmy Spender and a lot of people think he's going to be the next big goalkeeper thing and take over between the sticks for England. It's hard to understand him because he has a Geordie Newcastle accent, so I'm not sure what he's saying all the time. Geordie Newcastle is near Scotland and I have real trouble understanding the Scotland lads that we have at the club already.