England Captain

The new England Italy boss has decided to make Nigel Rio Ferdinand the new England Captain of England Italy and I think it's a dead boss decision. Nigel's a dead boss bad boy wrapper at wrapping stuff. All the kids are wannabe wrappers these days, so he's gonna be a dead boss role modeler for all the kids. That's what you need from an England Captain I think. Past England Captains have been not as a good role modelers. For instance, Bobby Moore was a good player and that, but apparently he tried to rob some jewels from abroad. I understand that they didn't earn as much in them days - about £50 a week and that, but it's no reason to be a great train robberer. How did they live in them days? I couldn't live on £50 a week. You would have had to catch the bus everywhere and not be able to go clubbing and chat up birds and that.

Peter Shilton was also an England Captain and he liked to do gambling all the time. He was only a small man, so they often do that kind of thing because they want to be horse jockeys and that.

Anyway, Nigel Rio Ferdinand's only crime is that he likes chatting up birds and merking them and filming it. Who doesn't love a Romeo? I like Alfa Romeos. Romeo Andjuliet was a good Romeo. He was dead romantic at poetry and that and all he wanted to do was chat up a bird and take her up the balcony. That's what Nigel's trying to do - be a modern day Romeo Andjuliet - good luck to him, that's what I say.

This is my message to Nigel Rio Ferdinand - keep on wrapping, keep on merking the birds and keep on doing your football. Hopefully you'll be the next Bobby Moore and lift the World's Cup, but not be a great train robberer.

Easter Eggs

Sorry I've not blogged on for a bit, but I've just had a boss new wireless router put in and I wasn't sure how to work it. I phone called my old man and he told me that when he was a lad a wireless was a radio. My radio doesn't do the internet because it's a DAB. My dad's a DAB hand at tiling, so I'm not sure why the radio didn't do the internet.

It's Easter at the moment and everyone's going mad about eggs. I'm not a big fan of eggs, but I know they're boss for your boxing skills. Rocky had a lot of eggs once, so he probably likes Easter.

The thing about Easter is that you normally have to do football on a Saturday and a Easter Monday. Easter Monday was too close to Grand Slam Sunday this year, so we didn't have to play on Easter Monday. We had to train and do gaffer excercising though, so I wished I did have my eggs from Easter as it might have given me more energy to do star jumps and that. Rocky would have done good and gaffer would have probably given him the star of training bib to take home.

England are playing against French on Wednesday, so I'm going to watch it on my Plasma. I was a bit disappointed not to get a cap for the game. I got a new cap from JJB Sports anyway, so I'm sure I'll survive. I'm not going to watch the game, though. The Apprentice is on on Wednesdays, so I want to watch that. I'll watch the highlights on Match Of The Day and stick my fingers in my ears and go la la la la la la la la la la when the results come on, so that I can watch Match Of The Day and not know the score. I'm dead nervous about it! I always get like it when Alan Sugars sacks someone.