Football on the Telly

Because the football season, which is when I play my football, isn't on at the moment, I've been watching football from countries where it is football season, which is when they play their football. A place that it is their football season, and they're playing their football, is American.

It's boss over there because it's always sunny and the sun shines and that. The other day I watched David Beckham and his France team, La Galaxy, playing their football and get stuck in and that.

David Beckham's like this dead, dead famous footballer who plays his football and gets stuck in and does some boss crosses and gets on the end of it and uses the space. I'd like him to get some balls into the danger zone for me and then I could strike the ball and stick it in the back of the net and maybe get a hat-trick and that. I love getting hat-tricks because it means I can keep the ball and use it in my back garden and play football when it's not the football season.

He's being paid loads of money for playing for his France team and he's getting loads of dollars. Dollars is like English money, only you can use it to buy things in American, like trainers, game boys, a big plasma telly and trainers. I love trainers me. When I'm not playing football and wearing football boots and sticking it in the back of the net I always where trainers, apart from when I wear me suits and Roxy tells me I look a div with them on and makes me where shoes. I don't like wearing shoes because I'm not very good at kick ups with them on.

David Beckham's team lost one-nil, which means the other team stuck the ball in the back of the net and they didn't. The other team was Chelsea and they used to be champions of Premier League, until they got beat. Their manager was well not happy and said that he wasn't happy and that.

This season gaffer said that we should be challenging up for it or he'd bring in some new signings and some new players. That's why we do training, so that we can be up for it and qualify for Europe and play loads of abroad teams.

I hope training ends soon because I don't like running up hills.